


so scarce a heart

by kirael



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Disturbing Themes, Gen, Ghosts, Multi, Reincarnation, thomas jefferson is creepy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:12:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirael/pseuds/kirael
Summary: The punishment must fit the crime.(but what's the crime?)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: this is a bunch of short scenes from a full length fic i'll most likely never write. think of it as ficlets in a larger verse. enjoy.

After his mother fell asleep, Alex climbed off of her lap and ran to her bedroom only to find James fast asleep atop the blankets.

“James,” Alex whispered, pulling at the edge of his shirt.

James barely stirred, but when Alex said, “Can I have the blue blanket?” he turned so that he rested on his side, the blanket freed from underneath him.

“Thank you,” Alex said. It was always good to be polite. He bundled up the blanket in his arms; it dragged on the floor a little but that’s fine, Mama said they were pretty dirty anyway and due for a wash. He walked back to the living room, taking care not to trip on the blanket, and beelined to the couch where Momma laid. There was a little bit of drool dripping out from her mouth, and Alex, after dropping the blanket onto her, gingerly wiped it off with his hand.

Alex arranged the blanket so that Momma’s feet weren't poking out. He stepped back and turned the sound on the TV down low so that he could barely hear it. He then ran to his and James's shared bedroom, changing into his pyjamas and climbing into bed.

Alex tucked his own thinning blanket underneath his feet, then rolled left and right until he was swaddled up tightly. He closed his eyes.

“Alexander,” a voice murmured.

Alex’s eyes snapped open. “Mr. Burr!” he said delightedly, wrestling himself from the tangle of fabrics he had made himself into until he was able to sit up properly.

A soft, carefully indulgent smile. “Alexander, there’s no need to call me Mister.”

Alex sat himself at the edge of the bed, patting the spot beside him. “Momma said I hafta be polite to adults.”

“That’s true,” Burr said. “But it’s also polite to call people what they ask you to call them.” He sat next to Alex.

As he moved, his hands gently brushed Alex’s skin, and Alex flinched back in pain.

Alex recovered quickly. “Ow,” he muttered, scooting a little to the side so that Burr couldn't touch him.

“I apologize,” Burr said gravely, staring down at his hands.

Burr was – he was cold. He was freezing cold, like when winter came and Alex and James and Momma all had to sleep together so they could warm up.

"Sorry," Alex said.

Burr stared at him, expressionless. Alex always thought it was a little odd how Burr would barely react to anything Alex did, but to be honest, it was also kind of nice. Alex knew a lot of fakers, but when Burr did smile, he meant it. You could tell.

"No need to apologize," Burr said. "It's my own fault, Alexander. I should have known better."

Alex yawned. It was late, nearly 11, and Alex had school tomorrow. "No one's fault," he said through the yawn. "Momma says people make mistakes and that we should forgive them, 'specially when they say sorry."

“You should sleep,” Burr said.

Alex’s eyes widened. “But you just came!” he protested.

Burr stood up and gestured to the bed. “Alexander,” he said sternly.

Alex stuck his tongue out but lay down.

“Tell me a story?” Alex asked.

Burr paused from where he was pulling up the blankets so that Alex was fully covered. “Of course,” he said. “Close your eyes.”

Alex did, focusing only on Burr’s voice and the coolness of the blankets from where he’d touched them.

“Long before you were born,” Burr said, “there was a boy.”

“What was his name?” Alex asked. James and Momma didn't like when he interrupted, but Burr had said it was fine when they first met.

“Shh,” Burr said. “His name was Aaron. He had a big house, and a big family, and an older sister who loved him.”

“Like James,” Alex said. “What was her name?” He yawned again.

“Yes, like James. She was named Sarah. She lived a happy life with Aaron.”

“Like what?” Alex said, the words muddled with sleep.

“Well,” Burr said quietly, “his family was quite wealthy. They could afford anything Aaron wanted." Burr's voice grew steadily softer. "However, all of this ended when had to go live with his uncle, in Pennsylvania. He had to go far, far away from his parents, and he was very young.” Burr paused.

Alex said nothing, half asleep, everything too heavy to move.

Burr stood up.

"Good night, Alexander," Burr said. It sounded like the early tremors of an earthquake. And then it sounded like nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao burr is cold. get it? burr = brr


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas jefferson makes an appearance

Jeff was tall, with dark eyes, and he followed Burr like a storm. He hardly spoke at all when he was there, and when he did, it was always directed towards Burr.

“Who are you?” Alex asked when he was old enough to realize. “Am I crazy?”

Burr blinked at him. He hadn’t changed since the first time he’d appeared, in the aftermath of Alex’s father leaving, but Alex was 11 and he could still remember a time when James didn’t go out early every morning to work, when his mother didn’t come home at three in the morning and collapse into bed, when Burr and Jeff weren’t an engraved part of his life. When everything was different.

“Remnants,” Burr replied.

“Of what?” Alex bit back. “Are you ghosts? Am I talking to a ghost right now? Is that why you’re so cold?”

Laughter from the corner of Alex’s room, where Jeff sat in a chair, flipping through Alex’s books. “Remnants,” Jeff repeated softly.

“Yes,” Burr said, sparing a glare towards Jeff.

“And nothing more?” Jeff asked.

“ _Yes_.”

Burr stood up. “Do your homework, Alexander,” he said.

Alex didn't even try focusing on his work, instead being drawn to the rapid whispering Jeff and Burr were engaged in.

"…doesn't…know…" Burr said. Alex only caught a few of the words.

"So?" Jeff replied.

"…understand…"

"That's not my problem!"

"…just…let…be…"

“He’s not an idiot.”

Burr said something in reply, so quiet Alex could only tell he was speaking by the movement of his lips.

"When I was his age-"

"You grew up rich with a slave at your every beck and call!" Burr yelled.

Alex jumped slightly in his chair. He'd never seen Burr yell like that before, at anyone or anything, or even raise his voice. As far as Alex knew, Burr was deadly calm and evenly tempered. Alex quickly gave up all pretenses of not listening in as he caught Burr's furtive glance at him. The damage was done.

Jeff sat back in his chair, pushing the two front legs up and balancing on the back two. He made no move to brush away the hair hanging in his eyes. “You’re no different,” he drawled out, the syllables melted to mush on his tongue. Jeff glanced back at Alex and said, “You’ve hurt the poor thing.”

Burr closed his eyes, pressing his fingers to his temples. “Your brother should be coming home soon,” he said finally to Alex. “I’m afraid we have to go.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Alex asked.

“Yes,” Burr said. “If I can.”

Alex nodded. “Alright,” he said. He fiddled with the stubby pencil he had in his hand, twirling it between his fingers. It flew off as he lost his grip on it, landing at Jeff’s feet.

Jeff bent over, rising off the chair as he did so, picking up the pencil with his bare fingers. His footsteps were light as he walked over to hand it to Alex.

“You dropped this,” he said.

Alex could feel the heat radiating off of Jeff’s body. He’d never been this close to him before. Close enough to touch.

“Thank you,” Alex said.

“My pleasure.”

Jeff spun on his heel, his long jacket flying around him as he did so, and clapped his hands together. “We’ve overstayed,” he said. “I’m sure young Alexander will want to be left alone now.”

Burr didn’t look at Alex. “Of course,” he said.

When had gone, disappeared into thin air, Alex looked down at the pencil he held in his hands. It was a dark black from where Jeff had touched it. He could still smell the smoke.

 _Rich with slaves at your every beck and call_ , Burr had said.

Alex barely remembered the first time Burr appeared, but Jeff had arrived on a rainy afternoon after the news came that Momma had been fired from her job.

"This is my friend," Burr had said, and Jeff had smiled and introduced himself.

The words, Alex decided, weren't important.

Jeff had worn a lacy scarf-thing tied tight around his neck and a long, magenta jacket thrown over an old-fashioned sort of vest with buttons and pants that only went down to his knees while the bottom half of his legs were covered with white tights. It reminded Alex of the outfits he had seen last year, when his Momma had taken him and James to the MET for James's birthday and there was exhibit on clothing. And Jeff-

After that first visit, Jeff had worn outfits that looked a little more normal, like what Alex would see on other people who weren’t strange people that appeared only when Alex was alone.

"Alex!"

Alex jumped at the sound of James's voice.

"Alex! I'm home!"

"I'm coming!" Alex called in reply. He took one last look at the pencil in his hand, then slipped it into his desk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a conversation. takes place before the previous chapter. why is it the third chapter? because i said so and i have editing control.

"Why us? Why are our mistakes so much more terrible than his?"

"He may have already repented."

"Perhaps. If that's the case, why is he still..."

"I don't know. We can't explain everything."

"Why not? It's been, what, eight, ten human generations? We've seen a lot."

"Not enough, evidently."

"Then what was the point?"

"To see. Further."

"Hmph. And what have we seen? Enough pain for a thousand lifetimes."

"You weren't always this cynical."

"Please. Like anyone else would react different. You're just resigned enough as to be uncaring."

"I'm not uncaring."

"Obviously. Otherwise you wouldn't be act so tender towards that boy of yours."

"Yours, too."

"There's that. What're we meant to be doing with him, anyway?"

"What we can."

"Vague and unhelpful. As always."

"I do what I must."

"You know, trust is needed in a good partnership."

"Are we partners?"

"Partners in crime, if anything."

"Crime seems a bit harsh."

A laugh.

"Are we meant to just watch, then?"

"And care."

"I don't do care."

"You _did_."

"Before, maybe. Selectively, if anything. Don't tell me you haven't been hardened."

"Nothing's happened."

"Everything's happened."

"Don't be overdramatic. He's our charge, remember."

"I couldn't forget if I wanted to. Little brat."

"He's hurt."

"When has he not? Always the victim."

"Yes."

"Of course. You were the one that shot him, after all. I didn't do anything shooting."

"He's crying."

"Of course he is. All he knows how to do is cry."

"You've had children."

"Yes. And? They were much more well-behaved."

"He's a child."

"I'm not an idiot."

"Sometimes I question that."

"Go coddle him already. The poor thing's crying is getting on my nerves."

"He'd do well to meet you before he becomes older."

"I'd rather not. It's your penance."

"And yet you're here too. Partners in crime. He finds me too cold. I can't touch him for fear of giving him frostbite. Perhaps you'd have better luck."

"Huh."

" _Please_." A plea.

Dark chuckles erupted. A handshake slipped through the cracks. 

"A pleasure to work with you, then."

**Author's Note:**

> comment/kudo if you like it!  
> also, here's my [tumblr](https://duckmoles.tumblr.com) where you can talk to me about shitty aus


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